Previous: As previously mentioned, I have abandoned my LiveJournal account, not waiting to export any of the entries. Part of this is because my mother and I conversed there for many years, she also having an account on the site. I have picked up my formerly seldom-used DreamWidth.org account, which is now a paid account, and some of the entries are public, while others are not. (DW now has limited image hosting!)
During April, I have been participating in the National Poetry Writing Month activities, some days on my own, and, others, selecting from the prompts supplied by a friend who is running an informal mailing list for the month. I have noticed that participant posts have dwindled, as did mine for more than a week, when I felt life’s pressing in on me.
That break was around the time of my second appointment with the grief counselor available through the local Hospice organization; it is a free service for a limited time to family members of those who died while under hospice care. I have, since that meeting, found myself working through memories and finally openly mourning the death of my youngest sister, two and a half years ago. Things had not gone smoothly between us in recent years, and I had regretted not visiting her one last time. Until I realized, this month, that I had been expecting her death and wanted a reconciliation before it was too late, while she was not expecting to die suddenly, but to complete radiation/chemotherapy and go on with her life. She and I would have been at cross-purposes, again, which would have been another in a long line of (on my part) inappropriate conversations leading to anger and avoidance on her part…and rightly so.
Anyway, life continues, our woodworking shop in the back yard is once again underway. We had to stop, last fall, with only the concrete slab poured. Things got a bit tense with my mother’s hospitalization and death, and then my father’s deciding to move into an apartment at the senior living center in the home town. Lots of family conferences, preliminary reorganization, and then, after our father died in February, more scrambling to ensure that the brother who still lives in the home town would be able to follow through with buying the family home.
And so, now that all is settled for a while, I can pick up the grief/mourning process again. This is a good thing.
ABOUT page updated on 2 July 2017.